Jan 10
18

Conversations and the Way They Spin

11 Comments

Many officers I know have had the following experience when attending a function where the officer does not know many of the attendees.  After introductions are made and talk turns to what everyone does for a living, conversations go something like this:

Stranger: “So, what is it that you do for work?”

Officer: “I work for the City of Vancouver.”

Stranger: “Oh really?  In which department?”

Officer: “The police department.”

Stranger: “Where in the department do you work?”

Officer: “I work in patrol/homicide/robbery/dog squad/emergency response team.”

Here is where the conversation can take a turn.  The person asking the questions either beats feet in the other direction (which is usually a clue they have something to hide) or they empty a deluge of policing questions to the exclusion of all other topics. 

Stranger: “Oh, that’s so fascinating!  So tell me, do you know so-and-so?  What’s it like to investigate a murder?  Do bank robbers really wear masks?  Do the police dogs come home with you?  Have you ever had to shoot anyone?”

Like most officers, I really do not mind answering these questions (thus, the blog).  But when all the person wants to do is find out what it’s like to stake out a house, or if the CSI-Hollywood theory on salient fingerprints is really accurate, or how heavy the tactical vests are, it can become a bit overwhelming.  Officers are adept at changing the topic so when the talk becomes too heavily focused on police work, officers usually get the other person talking about fishing/hockey/football/shopping etc. 

I’ve often been tempted to tell people that I do something completely different for a living, if only to see if their reaction to my ‘profession’ is as noticable as it is when I say I’m a police officer.  

What do you think?

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Posted in A Day in the Life by Sandra 11 Comments

11 Responses to "Conversations and the Way They Spin"

  • Ann T. Hathaway says:
    January 18, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    Dear Sandra,
    This is very funny.

    1. Should you pick another profession, do not choose doctor–”my sister has this problem with her elbow when she plays tennis/should my mother REALLY be taking haldol???”

    2. Do not choose lawyer–” say you know this guy who’s brother has been indicted for grand larceny”

    3. Do not choose writer. ‘that’s fabulous! have you been published yet/i always wanted to write a book but let me tell you my idea and you can write it instead.”

    4. Do not pick anything too unimaginative, either, as people will not want to network with you.

    I know!! Tell them you are a scam artist and then lie all night long!! Or tell them you’re a defrocked nun . . . hmmm, the possibilities could be endless . . .

    LOL,
    Ann T.

    P.S. You won a Best Blog award over at my site. I was given one and also the power to confer others. I don’t know if you can place it on your official blog, but at least come take a look. It’s mostly a sign of appreciation for all the wonderful posts.

  • J. F. says:
    January 18, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    Well, parking by-law enforcement is also out. Cause you know how those questions would go…*twitch* I usually say I’m in security, which is true enough considering it’s a security company that’s contracted to do my job.

    It’s tough talking with people when you’re in a community service profession like that. People usually have questions based on media or personal experience or ‘this friend I have …’

    When I worked editing, I’d get a couple of questions like ‘what do you edit?’ followed by ‘oh, that’s nice’ and then the conversation would turn to something else naturally. So it is easier from civilian shoes, I think.

  • slamdunk says:
    January 19, 2010 at 7:25 am

    When you figure out a workable strategy for this issue, I am sure you will be able to sell it for lots of money.

    It is no wonder that at social gatherings when I was in the profession, the police officers and correctional employees would group themselves into an away part of the room to avoid the questions that you describe.

  • klm says:
    January 19, 2010 at 9:27 am

    I think that some of that happens with just about every profession, simply because it provides an easy conversational hook. I generally end up having to explain what it is that I do, because it’s not something that people recognize just from the job title. You have the advantage (or maybe disadvantage) of working in a profession that’s been widely fictionalized in books, movies, and tv.

    I will also say: the one time that someone told me their profession and I genuinely had no clue where to go next in the conversation was when a woman told me that she was a psychic. If you ever really wanted to startle people, you could try that route!

  • Christopher says:
    January 19, 2010 at 10:26 am

    Ah yes, the interview. My least favorite questions- “What’s the most exciting thing you’ve been involved in?” or “What’s the strangest thing you’ve seen?” I generally offer a ride-along at that point, and the ability for them to see for themselves. Few take me up on it.

  • Roanoke Cop says:
    January 19, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    One of the reasons I avoid social situations with non cops or people I don’t know. I seem to be the only one ever introduced by my profession. “The is my friend Sam, Sam this Fred, he’s a cop.” Everyone then has to launch into a story about how they, or a friend, were unjustly given a traffic ticket by some police officer somewhere. “I was coasting down the hill! My foot wasn’t even on the gas!” It’s gotten so tedious I just avoid it now. I imagine doctors and lawyers have the same problem with people seeking medical and legal advice at parties.

  • Nic says:
    January 19, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    I had to laugh at the CSI bit. Having worked in a lab for x number of years I can tell you there is no mood lighting, no ambient music and the attire I wore was far from ‘sexy’ haha. Oh and get this…. My lab equipment was old (but ‘well loved’) and didn’t ‘access every database’.

    As to what to tell them regarding your job… Journalist/philanthropist/secretary by day… Superhero by night!! ;)

  • DC says:
    January 19, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    I graduated with a degree in actuarial science and so spent the first few years of post-university explaining to most people what an actuary was.

    Now that I’m in software my answer to the question “What do you do for a living?” usually results in eyes glazing over.

  • Hi says:
    January 20, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    Sandra, tell people you are a dog walker :)

    But, seriously, if you are at a social gathering full of strangers, what else is there to talk about, other than your professions? The weather, perhaps :)

  • Kari Chellouf says:
    January 20, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    I think that “so what do you do?” is an annoying question at parties and may social situations would be less awkward if people instead asked “what do you enjoy?” No everyone is defined by their current job: Some people hate their jobs, others have jobs that people hate to talk about, or are going through a transition just so they can put food on the table.

    Hobbies, though, that’s a whole other stack of pancakes, and most people will find something fun to talk about.

  • KL says:
    April 13, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    I tend to play the zeroing-in game as well – I work for the government, I work at the courthouse, I’m a prosecutor. I don’t necessarily mind people asking questions – I’m happy to do a little PR here and there. But it does get a bit tedious answering the same questions. I try and remind myself that this is a taxpayer and technically one of my bosses. But I still play a bit coy and hope they don’t work their way through ever-narrowing questions!

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